Friday, January 14, 2011

Family First Friday ~ One on One Time


I've been a mama for almost seventeen years now...oh.my.word...is my oldest really going to be seventeen in March?  Seriously...the time does fly by.

I know, I know...older mama's everywhere always are telling you that, but it's actually true.

It's hard to grasp this when you are in the midst of teething, dirty diapers, middle of the night feedings and the never ending chore of trying to fold all that baby laundry...but it does creep up on ya fast!

It's my hope that through my 10+ years of experience in Kids Ministry, Women's Ministry and being a mama that I can share some tips with you to help keep Family First.

What does that mean anyway?

Family First

It simply means that it is so easy to let all the other "hats" we wear as women start to crowd out what is actually our first ministry after our relationship with Christ.

Oh, get this...I'm not coming to you as someone who has "had it all together"...phew, quite the contrary, I've fallen so far short that I know it is ONLY from the grace of God that my kids are who they are.

That being said I wanted to take a few minutes to really stress with you the importance of ONE ON ONE time with your kids...especially if you have more than one child.  

Don't lose me if you only have one child because it is just as important for you to carve out some one on one child with that child as it is for a mom of four.

I have been blessed with two boys...yay...love being a "boy mama", but they couldn't be any more different from each other than oil is to water.

No...really, they are night and day, black and white, oil and water different from each other.  

They each give and receive love differently (see the Five Love Languages of Kids).  They also each want something different from me...yes, they want my unconditional love, but how they receive it is completely different.

It was only when I started to focus on spending time with each of them individually did I start to see changes in them, in our relationship, and even in our family.  I didn't go into these One on One Times with that intention, but it was a byproduct of giving them that undivided time.

Hubby would take one of the boys and I would take the other boy and once a month before school we would have a "Breakfast with the Boys" morning.  (Hey, it worked because we had boys...girls it could be a 'date' or 'good morning with the girls'...you get the point)   

Before they went to school that day we would take them out to breakfast, their choice, and just spend time with them one on one.

It was during these Breakfast with Boys days that the doors blew right open and created opportunities to talk about some really important stuff in their world, which also created them a safe place to talk without the whole family listening in.  

The boys are now both in high school and leave at 6:40am every morning...which makes Breakfast with Boys mornings nearly impossible, but we're thinking outside the box and creating new ways to spend that one on one time with them.  

I can tell you this...they still talk about those breakfast days and I know in my heart that they helped us, as their parents, see that we have been blessed with some pretty remarkable kids.

If you are already have One on One Time with your kids, then what do you do?

If not...what's stopping you?  
Even if it is once a month it's something...the kids will absolutely love it!

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Great Books!

  • God Chicks, Holly Wagner
  • Ten Minutes from Normal, Karen Hughes
  • Talent is NEVER enough, John Maxwell
  • Jesus, Life Coach, Laurie Beth Jones
  • Coached By Jesus, Allen Nelson
  • All the Simply Strategic Books, Morgan/Stevens
  • i am not, but i know I AM, Louie Giglio
  • Visioneering, Andy Stanley
  • Inside My Heart, Robin McGraw
  • For One More Day, Mitch Albom
  • The Difference Maker, John Maxwell
  • Tuesday's with Morrie, Mitch Albom
  • Winning With People, John Maxwell

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