Friday, November 13, 2009

Family First ~ Finding out your child's love language

Finding Out Your Child's Love Language

If you have one child or many children you know that each one is special and unique. They require different things from you, feel loved different ways than you do, and from you but also different from you.

We can't love on our children the way that we would "feel" loved, although that is probably the easiest and most natural thing for us to do. Problems can arise though, when we do this and the child receives what we think we are giving as love, but they are not receiving it that way.

Hold on.

Wait a minute.

Am I really saying that even when I "show" my love to my children they may not see it as love?

Pretty much. This is something that took me forever to finally grasp. I am very touchy-feely and so I am always loving on my kids by rubbing their back, hugging them, giving them smooches, playing with their hair, etc. Which sounds all good and normal right? Well, it is for me...but my two sons are not just like me. They know that is how I give love to them, but they "feel" loved in different ways.

One of the BEST books that I have ever read as a parent is The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. It radically transformed how I was "showing love" to my kids. This whole time I assumed that they "felt" loved by me but based off the principle of the 5 Love Languages there are many other ways to give and receive love other than "physical touch", which is what I was doing as a touchy-feely mom.

After reading the book I realized that one of my children feels loved by "physical touch and words of affirmation" while the other child feels loved by "quality time and acts of service". When I adjusted my way of showing my love to them, individually, our relationships bloomed and we were able to all have our love tanks filled.

If you have never read this book, I would highly encourage you to pick up a copy. It really will help you keep your Family First when you start to speak their Love Language!

From the Back Cover


Want to know the secret to making sure your child feels loved?

Kids desperately need to know how much you love them. But if you don’t know their special “love languages” you might as well be speaking gibberish. Every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles. Find out which one of these your child speaks:


If your love language is different from your children’s, you’d better learn to translate—fast. Or you could miss your chance to meet their deepest emotional needs. Discover how to express unconditional feelings of respect, affection and commitment that will resonate in their souls— and inspire them for the rest of their lives.

Now it's your turn...
If you have already read this book, then I would love to hear how it has impacted your family and helped you to keep your family first by giving and receiving love the way your child needs it.

If you haven't read the book yet, then based off the list of the 5 Love Languages which would you say is your love language and which one do you think you use for your children.

Keeping your Family First,

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2 Mel's World Friends Comments:

Freddae' 10:43 AM  

This is a great book and I too highly recommend it. It opened my eyes to looking at how I love a little differently. There are so very many ways to love and loving your child is one of the most important things you'll ever do.

Karen in NZ 2:04 PM  

It is a great book and I'm inspired to read it again!

This is Karen from NZ - have a new blog, addy is

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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